


Amnesty

by exbex



Series: Jim/John and the aftermath [9]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-24 15:53:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7514269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exbex/pseuds/exbex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Guilt is illogical, but forgiveness is still divine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amnesty

If he had dreamed about John, he wouldn’t know it. What’s obvious is that Sherlock has just woken up, and the first thoughts in his mind are about John, and it’s worth a few minutes in the chill air on the balcony to puzzle out why. He carefully tugs the sheet off of the bed to wrap around himself. 

Victor doesn’t wake up, and the door makes a whisper of noise as Sherlock steps out. As he dissects the thoughts of John in his head, he’s taken to the most recent memory of his friend, to observations that had been pushed to the background because of the massive amounts of sentiment that had taken over Sherlock’s brain. Sherlock flips through recordings of his wedding day, of frames of John, who had seemed rested, at peace, all points of sorrow locked away in a box and put on some shelf somewhere, charming the hell out of everyone.

He comes to the memory of John making a speech about both Sherlock and Victor, full of praise without being obsequious. There’s one moment that Sherlock skips back to, in which John had looked him straight in the eyes, and said “I owe you so much.”

It’s this memory that causes a sense of dread. Suddenly Sherlock has to hear John’s voice, has to know, now. He’s a little less careful and quiet as he opens the door and steps back inside, but Victor doesn’t wake, just sighs in his sleep and turns on his side. Sherlock finds his mobile and scrolls to John.

“Sherlock?” Sherlock knows it’s a little after 4:00 in the morning in London. John’s voice is sleep-addled, but he hasn’t woken up because of the call, he’s been awake for a few minutes already. “Sherlock. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I…It’s all fine.”

“Then why are you calling me?” There’s something crisp in John’s tone, commanding, a hint of the Army Captain that John had been, a tone that Sherlock hasn’t heard in a very long time.

“I….” and it’s ridiculous; they are past the point of pretense being appropriate, being useful, being a sort of protection. “I had to hear your voice,” he admits.

John’s tone changes to one of amused affection. “Silly bugger,” he says. “Well, you only have a couple of days left there. You really ought to be sleeping right now, if I have my times correct. Or shagging. Preferably sleeping after the exhaustion from all that shagging. Bugger off now. I’ll see you in a few days.”

“Good night, John.”

Sherlock has let the sheet fall from his shoulders. He barely notices his own faint shivering as he turns the phone over in his hands.

“What are you doing? It’s bloody freezing out here.” Victor has found a dressing gown, and his tone is all curiosity, no reproach. “Is John all right?” he asks as he notices the mobile.

“He’s fine,” Sherlock replies. He leans into Victor as Victor sits down next to him and pulls the sheet up around him. “I asked you to marry me so that it’d be more difficult for you to leave me,” he admits.

“I know, that’s why I accepted. Well, along with the fact that I want to grow old enough with you to retire to Sussex and watch you study bees for the rest of your natural life.”

Sherlock takes Victor’s hand into his own. “I may require sex as a form of comfort.”

“Fortunately I am well-suited for such.”

Sherlock looks at Victor carefully. “There are things that I don’t know how to say.”

Victor leans in, gives Sherlock a chaste kiss, then pulls away with a smile. “Good thing then that actions speak louder than words and all that.” He laughs at the confused look that must be on Sherlock’s face. “Deleted that one?”

Sherlock nods, slowly. “Yes.” He stands with Victor, follows him back into the room. “It’s not easy for you, to put my mind at ease.”

Victor turns back to him, puts one hand on the back of his neck. “I like the challenge.”

Sherlock pulls Victor into his arms. “I love you too.”


End file.
